A Bridge's Rail
by Hbrook shipping for life
Summary: There you sat on the railing. The water was so far down, yet it could never be close enough. You were just about to jump when a voice spoke from behind you.


The dark night air was crisp as it nipped at your skin. You could feel it gently blowing through your hair, and you rubbed your left arm slowly. You vaguely wished that you had worn something warmer than a short sleeve T-shirt and shorts, but you quickly remembered that it would've been pointless. It wouldn't matter. You were going to be dead soon.

You looked down into the water below you, your feet dangling over the railings. You were sitting on the railings of a bridge that stood over the ocean. You couldn't tell how many feet you were up from the water, but it was pretty far down…

Hot tears flooded out of your eyes as you let out a sharp sigh. Your heart tugged weakly, yet somewhat aggressively inside your chest, and you could hardly bare it. Everything hurt now. You just wanted it to stop.

You focused on the water, watching the little, black waves form up and roll over. You halfheartedly wondered if anyone would miss you when you disappeared… You wondered if they would even notice your absence… You weren't sure how to slide off. Each move seemed too soon, yet when you didn't jump, it felt too late. After a few moments, you decided to jump at the count of three.

One.

You took a deep breath, taking in the delicate scent of salt in the air.

Two.

That breath left you as a sob, and more acid like tears streamed down your face, burning your skin.

Three-

"It's a beautiful night out tonight… Makes me wonder what such a pretty young gal like yourself is doing out here all alone."

You gasped at the unexpected voice as you gripped the rails that you were sitting on, strangly enough, to keep you from falling. You jerked your head to your left, where you heard the voice, to see a tall, handsome dice man wearing a nice velvet suit (which had turned dark purple in the nights glow), and a plain black tie, leaning against the very rails that you were about to jump off of.

You're heart was racing, and you couldn't help the blush that involuntarily krept onto your face when you had realized that he had called you pretty. You examined him; his gaze was set firmly on the water. You looked away from him and set your gaze on the stars instead.

"I like being alone," you mumbled.

He hummed in what seemed to be understanding, and you couldn't help but to shoot him a puzzled look. He didn't look at you, neither did he really acknowledge your gaze. You continued to look at him, not believing that he would notice. His relaxed posture shifted slightly against the railing before he looked up at you, meeting your gaze.

"What are you doing here?" You blurted, almost immediately regretting the words right after they fell out of your mouth. You wanted to take them back, you almost started to spill out an apology, but you stopped dead in your tracks when the die chuckled, giving you a charming smile.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Your face heated up in embarrassment, and you tore your gaze away from his, pulling it back down to the water. You started to consider jumping, whether this man was watching or not.

"Could I convince you to climb down from there?" The man asked gently.

You looked back at him; your eyes locked. Your (color) eyes were wide, and his beautiful green ones were soft. You couldn't break your gaze, even as he leaned off, and took a step away from the railing, gently offering you a hand.

"It would be a shame," he said carefully, his words washing over you like warm water, "If you were to fall in."

You looked at his hand, back at him, and then at his hand again as you bit your lip. You weren't sure why you were listening. You didn't understand why you hadn't jumped already. You had several chances to just throw yourself off, but… you didn't. You didn't know what made you do it. Out of all your mind's thoughts and decisions, you had know idea why you chose to do it, but you did it. Rather than ending it all, you grabbed his hand and… you let him gingerly lead you off of the railing.

Your feet touched the ground, and it felt unsteady beneath you. It was almost as if it would be ripped out right from under you, and you couldn't help but to hold your breath in anticipation as you stared at the ground. This was the part where he left. He probably noticed that you were sitting at the edge of the railing, about to fall in, and decided to soothe you down. Now, he didn't care anymore. Just like everyone else, he was going to assume that you were fine, and walk away, feeling proud, satisfied even, at the generously heroic deed he just performed.

And just like that, he would leave you there. Just as big as a stranger as he was when you had met. You would be broken. You'd be alone. You'd be right back on top of that rail, and him? He would be happy. He would be fine. He'd be on his merry little way.

No one ever understood. It hurt to an unbearably painful extent. You couldn't "tough it out" virtually alone anymore. You just couldn't… You couldn't…

You crossed your arms and let out what people liked to call a "moody" huff. You felt yourself crumbling, and you didn't know how much longer you had until you shattered.

"I'm sure you have somewhere to be," you asserted, your voice wavering from the strain of trying not to cry. You didn't bother to look up. You focused on the toes of your shoes instead.

You heard the dice man clear his throat, and couldn't help but to look up, immediately meeting his gaze.

"Who said that I had anywhere to be?" It was almost a retort, yet it was soft. "I wouldn't mind staying here a bit longer."

You raised your eyebrows at him, trying to mimic an "oh really?" expression, but it probably matched your surprised emotions instead. He quirked an eyebrow at you in response before adding,

"That is, if you don't mind."

Your breath was caught in your throat, and you didn't feel like you knew how to answer. You shared a long, silent moment of surprisingly meaningful eye contact before you broke your gazes, turning back around and looking into the ocean.

"Sure," you muttered flatly, "who am I to stop you."

"A person, I suppose."

Those words hit you with the impact of a thousand waves. You blinked rapidly for a couple of moments before you made a strange scoffing noise. Not in a million years, did you expect a response that… That was… Different from how people usually talked. That was different form how people usually thought.

You glanced at him to find him examining you. Your eyes met, clashing with a strange shocking sensation. He seemed to be soaking in information, but making no comment. You forced yourself to look at the water.

"Actually," he said calmly, " It was only four months ago when I found myself in the same exact position as you."

A chill ran through your spine. You watched him through the corner of your eye. You spoke, your words coming out in a rush, " Same position as m- What are you talking about?"

You were looking at him all the way now. You were facing him, and he did the exact opposite. He was looking back out into the ocean, his face set with a careless focus. He was leaning forward onto the bridges rails, now.

"Four months ago, I came to this very bridge, sat on these same rails, and almost jumped."

You stared at him, and you couldn't help but to feel surprised. His charming smiles and life filled eyes made it hard to believe, but now that you looked at him in his current state, you could see the tiredness in his lips and the weariness in his eyes. He sighed as he picked a penny out of his pocket, tossing it over the bridge.

"Oh," was the only thing you felt you could say before, "Why did you try to do it?"

The die's eyes followed the soft rolls of the little, deep ocean waves.

"Everything hurt... No one got it. Ever. I was accused of being ungrateful any time I showed how I really felt, and… After several years… I just… Didn't think I could deal with it anymore… I just thought... I thought that jumping off here would be the best way to make it all stop."

Your eyes were glued to him. You knew he wasn't saying as much as he meant. You knew that he was trying to make it sound better than it was. The weak smile that tugged at his lips when he looked at you again was all the more evidence of that.

"Why didn't you."

"What?"

"Why didn't you do it?" You repeated.

He hummed thoughtfully before he looked back out to the ocean again.

"I always hated losing."

You blinked confusedly, "You… hated losing?"

"Yes," he said, his eyes still fixed on the black sea. "Before I jumped, I realized something. I realized that if I took that jump… I lost. Not just my life, but… I also lost against anyone whoever treated me wrong. The ones who said I'd never make it, the ones who said I was weak for feeling this way, the ones who pushed me to that point. All of 'em, I would've lost against every single one." There was a short pause, "I've always been a gambling man; even when I was just a boy. If I jumped off that bridge, I might as well have dropped my cards. Living in attempt to live happily has a larger chance of winning than dying. So,... I decided to take a gamble. I was going to try and live. I was going to tackle life with a new strategy."

"You make it sound so easy… You make it sound so simple…" You shifted on your feet, glancing at the moon's reflection in the waves.

The die chuckled lightly. "Anyone can make anything sound simple and easy, darling. It's not. I know. every day is still a fight for survival. I assure you, it hasn't been easy"

"But," you spat, "I thought you said you were going to tackle life with a new strategy."

"I did," He agreed, "But I never admitted to finding the right one."

You continued watching him, wondering if he was thinking about jumping into the water, right now.

"Has it, um, has it gotten any better?" You asked quietly, almost feeling as if you knew the answer. He already seemed so tired…

"Yes."

The answer caused you to flinch, and you looked at him disbelievingly.

"I've learned… quite a few things sense then. I'm not quite where I wish I was, but I feel that I'll be able to get there… eventually…"

You blinked a couple of times before looking back into the ocean. You almost couldn't believe that you were having this conversation… well… with anyone. You let out a sigh, running a hand through your already sure to be messy hair before you said, " This is the part," you could tell that he was looking at you, "where you tell me not to do it, right? This is the part," you sighed. "where you tell me that everything's going to be okay. That it'll all be worth it?"

There was a brief stillness that formed over the two of you along with its silence.

"No," he said tiredly, "No, I wouldn't lie to you like that, darling... I told you. It's a gamble, and whether you take it or not, that's up to you. I can't stop you, I can't make you, either. The thing about taking gambles is, it may or may not work out, but, chances are, if you learn the tricks to the game, you'll win it. Either way, I can't promise you anything. I can't force you into anything. It's not my decision to make. It's not my hand to play."

You couldn't help the fuzzy feeling, or the blush the crawled back up onto your face at hearing those words. You weren't used to people treating you like you were in control of your life. You weren't used to people respecting your choices and feelings. You weren't used to any of this. You just weren't, and the feeling excited you. You weren't sure if you wanted to laugh or cry, so you stayed quiet.

The dice looked back at you, and you smiled. He smiled, genuinely, back at you.

"Thank you…" you voiced.

"For what?"

Even though he asked, the look on his face told you that he already knew.

"So, would you like me to walk you home?"

"I'm perfectly capable of walking myself home," you asserted, still smiling.

"I have no doubt in my mind that you are, darling," he admitted easily, "I only asked if you would like me to accompany you on you way there."

You considered his offer for a moment before accepting. "Sure."

You and the dice man walked quietly for approximately fifteen minutes before you got home. It was a pretty steady, comfortable silence. When you got to the door, you began to say goodbye before the die stopped you.

"I don't believe I ever caught your name." He mentioned softly as he scratched the back of his head, smiling charmingly. "How can I address you properly during our goodbye if I don't know your name?"

You let out a light giggle. After all the conversation that you two had had tonight, neither of you had thought to mention a name. It was pretty strange, really.

"I"m (Y/N)"

The die held out a hand. You grabbed it and shook it, laughing again. As you shook his hand, you felt something rough rub against your palm.  
"Well, it was very nice to meet you, (Y/N). I'm Dice."

You smiled at the all too simplistically obvious name, and you let go of his hand. He did the same.

"Goodnight, (Y/N). I hope that our paths cross again," Dice said, giving you a lopsided smile.

"Goodnight, Dice," you replied back, looking at the crumpled paper that he had snuck into your hand. You uncrumpled it, finding a phone number written in neat, cursive numbers. By the time that you looked up, he was already gone. You let your arms fall to your sides.

"I hope that our paths cross again too."


End file.
